Happy New Year...

Its a new year.

I look forward to a new year and new beginnings come each January 1st.  I try and determine new wishes, hopes, and dreams.  I laugh as every year it seems to be the same goals.  Losing 20 lbs, making more time for working out and eating healthy and maybe even some extra alone time sounds nice.

This morning, January 4, 2014, my little sister calls and informs me a childhood friend has passed away.  He has been battling cancer.  His Mom, whom all that knew her adored her, died a few years back to cancer as well.  I find myself sitting here thinking, "How hard."  Seriously, it's my second childhood friend to die of cancer and I'm not even 30 yet...

I don't believe there is any sense to be made of it, because sometimes it's life and it just doesn't make sense.

Right now, I am extremely thankful for my childhood friendships.  My hope is for my son, Corban to have a similar experience.  Having a friend like Sam, Joel, Kyle, Craig, Ryan, Seth, Justin, Jordan, and a truly beautiful and stunning, Carli.   Having so many great friends and living connected with others and to love deeply wanting the best for each individual.  I was able to talk to a few close friends that I haven't talked to in years and it was as if a day hadn't passed.  I grab my bin of photo albums and I remember back.  Back to the days in elementary school when Sam and his brother Alex would skateboard down the street,  the many classes together, highschool dances and pictures at his house, his trips to Denver and his zest for life and adventure.  Sam your spirit will be forever missed on earth.

I have pondered since the day I lost my friend Brock in February of 2002.  Why is it so hard to lose a friend?    Maybe it's because you get to choose your friends as family or maybe they're just too young to die and there's still so many more dreams you hope come true for them.  Either way I know you miss them like crazy.  I always thought my first born son would be named Brock and I was sold on it until I realized my last name was Kelley.  Brock Kelley, I truly thought it was possibly a sign when I always called Brock, Brockley... but I just couldn't do it so Ryan as a middle name would have to suffice.  The memories of Brock, Andrew and Sam still live on in our continued friendships and for that I am thankful.